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WritingItDown
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Name: Tiffany
Gender: Female
Interests: Music, painting, reading, movies, hanging out with friends, writing, etc.
Expertise: Writing.
Occupation: I worked at Krispy Kreme as a
Industry: Art
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/21/2006
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| I need a second job...preferably...a day job.
Any ideas? | | |
| A much needed update? I think so.
So my last few posts have been pretty negative. Sorry about that.
Life's been handing me lemons and I've just been placing them in a bag over my shoulder.
And it just became much too heavy for my petite little body to carry around.
So I cracked.
But anyways, I have been doing quite a bit of soul-searching, and thinking in general, and I am feeling so much better about life and where I am in it. I realized that even though things aren't perfect...they're not really that bad.
I am in a relationship with the one person on this earth that I truly love. Sure, we have our ups and downs, but what relationship doesn't? We've recently been discussing the possibility of moving in together at some point in the near future. We're talking on long-term bases now. Which is one thing that I've been wanting for a very long time. I know how I feel...and I'm starting to believe that he feels the exact same.
Second, I have a job that I do enjoy. I may not make a lot of money or get the hours I'd prefer....but I am definitely content. I may get a second job this summer, just to put myself ahead for this coming school year. I don't think I will be able to work that much now that I'm starting my major.
Third, YES, I picked a major: Speech Path. I am really excited to get started and hopefully to finish my undergrad in two years. But then the thought of grad school comes up, and that's a bit scary right now. So I'm going to focus on the next two years. Take anything ese as it comes.
I also realized that I have some amazing people in my life. From family to friends. And I appreciate everything that they have done for me. I couldn't ask for better people to walk through life with.
On a much happier note: School is done on Thursday. This next week is going to be insanely busy...but I have faith that I will get through it. Just keep doing my best and keep my chin up. 
And that is all from me for now.
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| ahh the joys of a sprained wrist. | | |
| Not to make matters worse, but now my hand is sprained.
And who sprained? Take one guess.
I know he didn't mean to. He was drunk. Doesn't remember it.
But now I'm left to think, it happened once....will something worse happen next time?
I defintely BELIEVE he isn't this type of person...yet I'm still scared. | | |
| I don't understand myself. Whenever it comes to matters of the heart, I become the worst pushover possible. I put up with stuff that I normally wouldn't. I stand in line all day to get a ride on the rollercoaster of emotions...knowing exactly where I will end up. I use the analogy of a rollercoaster because I hate them. I always end up feeling exhausted and sick afterwards.
Love. Where is my fairy tale? And my Prince Charming for that matter?
Am I actually settling for less? Settling for someone that won't actually make me happy in the long run?
When I'm with him...everything is perfect. Yet, when we are apart, everything falls apart in the matter of seconds.
I got a phone call from the ex yesterday...while I was on a pseudo date with my boyfriend. I tried to act non-chalant but after I hung up my phone, all I could think is that I have put myself in the same situation all over again. I pretend to be happy. I pretend that everything will be okay and will work out in the end. For some reason, I am focused on the end. Not the present or the near future...but the end.
I thought I wanted to marry this one. What made this one so different?
He's fun. He can make me laugh. He knows how to make me feel good about myself. I love his company.
He lies. He manipulates me with tears. He lacks sympathy to the degree that it makes me so frustrated. Wow. I think that might have been the first time I've admitted the last line there to myself. And what am I going to do about it, since I obviously know that's the way that it is.....
Absolutely nothing.
And why?
I'm scared. To death.
That may seem overdramatic to most....to all even....but it's the truth. I am scared. I don't know what I would do without him in my life. He's been such an important person. He's been the most important person.
And how did I let that happen?
When we met, neither one of us wanted a relationship. Funny story: Our first date consisted of us both discussing how neither of us waned to be in a relationship, especially a serious one.
And look what happened?
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